Boundaries and Transitions For a Productive Writing Life
Having a hard time getting some peace and quiet so you can write? Do friends and family keep calling and inviting you over and using up all your spare time?
Time with friends and family is important. It gives us the opportunity to have a positive impact on other people’s lives, to show them that we care.
But I don’t think we’re here just to be supportive to our families. We’re here for so much more than that.
Were you meant to inspire others through your writing?
If so, how can you write if you don’t have time for it? How can you write if every time you sit down to write, someone calls to chat or go out for lunch? How can you focus on your work if you keep getting interrupted?
You have the opportunity to impact the lives of others through your writing. To do this, however, you need to establish a balance of family/friend time and your writing time. And when you plan your writing sessions, you need to stick to them as much as you can so you are less likely to sway when you get distracted or interrupted.
When communicating your need for balance, you'll likely run up against some resistance. Maybe your actions, motives, or priorities will be questioned, your hopes and dreams trampled, or your confidence shaken. This is an unfortunate, but natural, reaction to change. Most people are resistant to change, especially when it directly affects them. Your not spending time with them means they now need to fill the time on their own or find someone else to fill it.
In your mission to set your boundaries, don't let anyone tell you that you don't have your priorities straight when you choose your passion over something else. If you are focused on your passion and creating the life you want, don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about the choices you make.
Remember to establish and maintain a good balance. You need to have relationships in your life. You need people you care about and who care about you in return. And you need to expand your circle to include new friends.
A year ago, my husband and I joined a small group through our church. It's been a great experience. We've learned a lot, grown in our faith and relationship with God, and developed friendships with some great couples. Over the course of the year, the group has grown and become too large for everyone to fit comfortably in our meeting space.
As a result, we are now splitting the group into two groups. This means that some of us will no longer be getting together every Tuesday night. But that doesn't mean we can't still be friends. Splitting the group gives each new group the opportunity to welcome new couples into our circle of friends. At first glance, it might appear to be a negative, but it's really a good thing.
Transitions can be hard, but they give us an opportunity to grow and reach new heights. Stand firm when communicating your boundaries with others. Maybe one day they will realize they can achieve their dreams, too.
What is your biggest challenge when it comes to setting boundaries?