When Does Life Get Easier?

When Does Life Get Easier & I Don’t Have To Work So Hard?

When Does Life Get Easier?
Photo by Jody Calkins

When Does Life Get Easier & I Don't Have To Work So Hard?

"Why is it so hard to pursue our dreams? When does life get easier? It seems so easy for you guys. Everything is falling into place for you."

If you could have seen us so many years ago, you would not think it was so easy for us then. We were living paycheck to paycheck. My husband left the career of his dreams (the same one he went to college for) because it didn't pay enough and there was no pay increase in sight. It took two years for him to find good work. I was trying to build a business that was going nowhere and I felt hopeless. And then eventually Harold asked me a question I didn't know how to answer and that almost ended our marriage. We were asking that question, too – when does life get easier?

So, when people look at our lives now, how we were able to spend eight months in Alaska and how Harold is pursuing his dream again, I worry that people will get the wrong idea. That everything comes so easily for us, that everything falls into place, that we are blessed, that we are a special case. All of those things may be true, but not without sacrifice. We've paid our dues. We've learned our lessons. Hopefully, we're still learning our lessons so we don't have to learn the hard way again. Hopefully, we stay on the right path. Hopefully, we have another fifty or sixty years of life together.

The main point I want to make is this: a blessed life does not always feel like it has a blessed beginning.

There is no doubt in my mind that God was with us the whole time. But there were some really important things we needed to learn before we could get to where we are now. And we're still not perfect; we're going to make mistakes. We're going to have our challenges because we're human. But we've worked really hard to get this far. We've learned our lessons and have grown in our relationship with God and in our relationship with each other.

I don't want anyone to think that it was easy for us and that it's not going to be easy for anyone else. It was hard for us and there's a good chance it's going to be hard for others because that is the most effective way for humanity to learn. There are people who will learn from the mistakes of others, but the majority of us have to learn the good ol' fashioned way – the hard one.

Marriage is hard work. When we had our premarital counseling session with our pastor before he married us more than eight years ago, he told us the top two causes of marital issues are finances and communication. I wasn't shocked to hear that; I knew that already. But what was shocking was how poorly we handled both when the issues popped up. And it almost ended our marriage. Neither one of us believed in divorce, but, boy, it would have made things easier, right? I mean it's not like we had any money or possessions to split. But easier in the long run? Heck no.

Thankfully, God had the perfect place for us over at Rocky Mountain Christian Church in Frederick, Colorado, five and a half years ago. We were sold during our first visit when the message was about none other than…marriage! The next two sermons were about marriage, too. Talk about perfect timing!

Getting plugged into a church was the first big turning point for us. Had we not taken that first step, who knows where we'd be right now. And while that step was huge, it wasn't until we joined a small group and met with other Christian married couples that we really learned what a Godly marriage looks like.

So, if you're in the feeling-not-so-blessed stage right now and you're asking "when does life get easier?", I encourage you to get plugged into a Christian church that has a great pastor who shares impactful messages. If you don't have a Christian church nearby, here are some great ones for you to check out online:

LifePoint Church – this is our new church in Virginia. Really great pastor and messages each week, and they upload Sunday messages each Monday. Also, check out their LifePoint app.

Rocky Mountain Christian Church – this is where it all turned right for us. They post sermons on their website here – http://rocky.church/watch/

Elevation Church – I haven't been able to watch a whole sermon since we use cell phone data for internet right now, but I love Steven Furtick's energy and he has great messages to share!

When you feel the spirit in the room, when the message calls out to you, pulls at your heart strings, or moves you to tears, that's where you need to be. Don't miss out on the opportunity to know God because of preconceived notions or fear. Get involved today!

Jody Calkins
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